canada goose outlet black friday Since I do not feel like

What Happened When I Accidentally Fell Onto My Kitchen Floor

Canada Goose Jackets May I Take Time tointroduce myself. I am Kenneth canada goose factory outlet toronto location Avery. According to canada goose outlet germany my birth record, that is my real name. Of course a few friends and family call me Kenny, and I’m guessing due to them (the family members) being so lazy that pronouncing my entire name tuckers them out or they just don’t care. Either way, I find myself on canada goose outlet location the floor of our kitchen floor all alone with my wife, Pam, (Pamela on her birth record), being out of town visiting her friendly family members. Canada Goose Jackets

Canada Goose Outlet Me stuck here in the floor canada goose parka outlet uk is actually very scary and very funny. I was trying to reach a pack of healthy crackers, canada goose outlet online uk those with no salt, no taste, and nothing to brag about, and before I knew it, I was in the middle of the floor. canada goose vest outlet The best part of (that) prat fall was those awful excuses for food avoided canada goose outlet winnipeg my fall and none of the crackers were crunched. Why? official canada goose outlet Can you tell me why? Stupidity never ceases to amaze me. Me falling on canada goose jacket outlet toronto these canada goose outlet uk fake crackers (that could pass for Styrofoam) and grinding them into dust was not as serious as me and a canada goose outlet authentic few others plotting the fate of the Free World. It was just a quiet, isolated, harmless accident. You Quantum Mechanics can debate why in any other time those crackers would be dust! Canada Goose Outlet

I should crawl into our living room, but I have canada goose outlet ottawa already discovered that there is a serious pain that throbs with each heartbeat and the pain has taken over my right leg which I am not doctor, but I feel that it’s not broken. And if it were, I would be dialing 9 1 1, but our phone is on the charger out of my reach.

canada goose black friday sale I am in trouble. Serious trouble. Jim Lampley, HBO Sports, canada goose outlet store near me calling the Buster Douglas vs Mike Tyson canada goose uk site boxing match). Speaking of Lampley, I wish he were here right now so I could get him to help me to get to my living room so I could crawl into my recliner and the TV remote: Modern Man’s Two canada goose outlet reviews Most Pliable Tools. Did I mention how naturally good looking Lampley is? canada goose black friday sale

canada goose coats on sale So What ShouldI do now? I am not going to over state the comedy of error because I canada goose outlet eu am not at the moment of sheer starvation because I have yet to use the strength that I have reserved in my girth so with one giant leap, I could open my refrigerator door and latch onto whatever food item, (real food item, not those stupid health crackers), and tear it to pieces like the primal part of me that has been cleverly hidden by American Society by using several «tools» such as: Tolerance; Tenderness; Self Abasement; Self Sacrifice; and almost never thinking of myself at all. This is what has happened to this accidental prone, 64 year old whom needs you, anyone, to jump into your car and floor it! canada goose coats on sale

Canada Goose Parka Since I cannot reach my phone, just get to Hamilton, Alabama, that is in northwest Alabama, and ask any police officer whom know canada goose outlet hong kong me, but because I am arrested canada goose outlet paypal everyday or week, but when I worked for our local newspaper, I did give our «Boys in canada goose outlet miami Blue» a lot of positive PR. Those favors are still in effect, if that helps you any. Canada Goose Parka

The facts: none of my limbs are broken. Thank God for that news. And that is good news, but doggone it, there is a down side: do you remember the late Chris Farley? Now do you remember his fun loving size? If Farley were still with us (which would be great) and he would stand beside me, we would look exactly like two great big, husky guys who had never darkened any door of any gym. Not even a sauna.

So I am somewhat a prisoner of my own girth because I simply cannot jump up to my feet with the speed of a cat such as Mary Lou Retton, so I just sit https://www.gooseyou.com here looking sad and lonesome as a forsaken dog that was left out in the middle of Winter. Some humans, I tell you, are some of the most self centered, self focused souls on the planet, take it from me!

cheap Canada Goose Maybe, Just Maybe a Fewwell chosen phrases might keep canada goose outlet sale the panic attacks from turning me to a big man who is sitting in his kitchen floor and now he is beginning to feel as stupid as he might look if his family or friends were to come by, knock on his front door and find him sitting there with mouth agape, eyes wide open and canada goose outlet store quebec his hands waving like a brakeman on a freight train signaling for the train to stop. cheap Canada Goose

canadian goose jacket Do you like rap music? Kinda a contradiction in terms, huh? I was exposed, well, accidentally exposed to rap music canada goose outlet 2015 by my only daughter, Angela, in 1986, when she was 10. I have to say that of all the rap performers in that time, my quick favorite was Kool Moe Dee with canada goose outlet his hard yet perfect rhymes that kept us on the floor as well as on the ropes. I liked most of his music. canada goose outlet online store review I sure wish ol’ KMD would drag himself by my house and barge in with no announcement. I would. I would even give him a bear hug. canadian goose jacket

buy canada goose jacket cheap Okay. canada goose outlet black friday Since I do not feel like writing a narrative section of my accidental canada goose outlet store uk spill into my kitchen, I shall try to write a few sharp phrases in which Kool Moe Dee would be able to rap with some very bouncy, bouncy music that can only be born in Detroit. buy canada goose jacket cheap

canada goose clearance «Ahh, canada goose outlet trillium parka black yeah……. canada goose clearance

My shirts are tight….

Canada Goose online «Ahhh, yeah…………. Canada Goose online

buy canada goose jacket You can’t growl like me……..?» buy canada goose jacket

canada goose store (Song ends as drum and saxaphone fades out). canada goose store

canada goose You young people here and about HubPages like music like that? Do you think that I sounded cool? Oh, well, if you didn’t, that’s cool. We all can’t be play UH’s. canada goose

canada goose deals Since I Laid HereI have managed canada goose outlet 80 off to move at least three feet straight toward my living canada goose jacket outlet store room. My right hip aches as well as my right foot. Maybe in that blur of the moment when I was foolish enough to reach for those awful crackers, I might have sprained my hip and foot. Now I may have a bigger, more serious problem: strained body parts. Not the name of any baby food. I have a strained right foot and hip and my wife is still not home. Even if I had our home home in my hand, it would be useless because she never travels with a wireless phone and now with me home, she wouldn’t have a need for a wireless. canada goose deals

canada goose clearance sale Hey! I can almost reach the back of my recliner. There is hope after all. It’s mid afternoon. There is a classic movie about to start. I heard that on canada goose outlet toronto location one of my TV channels last night. But canada goose jacket uk I am still here on my big butt and my right foot and hip are aching as if I am in need of medical attention. canada goose clearance sale

canada goose coats Ken, your stream of coumadin warfarin buy. consciousness writing here is quite a literary style. I had to keep reading to see how this would end, I mean IF this would end lol canada goose coats.

13 августа 2014 - Сергей Ермилов - 0 - Новости / Просмотров: 601